The other day I spoke to a group of moms about the opportunities we have as parents to embrace teachable moments, to help our children grow into who we have envisioned them to be. Who God’s envisioned them to be. Especially as it relates to making Him famous. When my time on stage ended, the moms gathered around tables to discuss questions related to what I shared. One group asked me to join their table.

As we spoke, these women shared their “God dreams” for their kids. One lady said, “I want my kids to love Jesus. But not just halfway. Not on just on the surface. I want them to love Him more than anything.”

Another woman shared something she heard a pastor once say, “I want my children to run into a collision course with God’s grace.”

As they talked, I reflected back on my own growing up years. I made some irresponsible and painful choices that led me down a tunnel of deep heartbreak.  But it was the collision course with grace that made me love Jesus more than anything.

I want my kids to love Jesus like this, but I fear their journey. I worry that they too will make irresponsible choices and experience deep pain. So I pray against it. I pray they won’t struggle. Lord, guard my boys from bad influences, from addiction, from images that may leave an imprint on their minds, from the pressures to have sex, do drugs, and drink alcohol. The pressure to cheat, to be selfish. Lord, protect them. Shield them.

But I quickly forget that the valleys of pain and suffering are often the roads that lead to God. These lost places we roam to can show us how desperate we are for Him and mold us into people who need, seek, and cling to Him more than anything.

It’s hard to overcome my mama-bear side. The side that desires to protect my kids from pain. That wants them to have an easy life.

But if I think with an eternal perspective, I want my kids to love Jesus more than anything or anyone else. And if choices or situations lead them away from God in order to ultimately lead them back, then I’ll take those detours. Even pray for them.

Maybe my prayer needs to change from, “Lord shield them,” to “Lord sharpen them.”

Lord, sharpen my kids. However long it takes. Whatever that means. If they walk away from You, show them Your deep, unconditional love, and lead them back for Your great Glory. Do what’s needed to get them to know that apart from You, life is empty and meaningless. That there is nothing better than a life bent on Your celebrity. I release my need for my own comfort and my desire for a pain-free life for them. It would be my honor Lord, if You would use me to steer, narrate and guide any collision course with Your Grace that You have in mind for them. Use my past for Your renown in their lives. Because of Your sharpening, may they finally choose You. And lead others to do the same. Amen.