This morning I dropped my son, Deuce, off at the bus stop.
He doesn’t always take the bus. 7:15 a.m. pick up is too early for me. But every once in a while, when he sees something yummy on the school breakfast menu, like breakfast pizza, or egg tacos, I give in. I love these mornings. I don’t have to make breakfast and because it’s so early, I don’t have to make lunch—he’s buying then too.
“Bus mornings” are also a great way to start my day with him. With a cup of coffee in my hand, we take the walk down to the corner where the street light illuminates the sidewalk and road is still quiet. We talk about his upcoming day, his fears, and his anticipations.
Today on our trip to the corner, he saw our neighbor’s cat, Curtis, and sang “Felix the Cat” but inserted Curtis’ name.
“Curtis the cat. The wonderful, wonderful cat.”
He didn’t know the rest of the song, so I finished, “Whenever he gets in a fix, he reaches into his bag of tricks.”
Curtis ran away from us in fear. We laughed so loud we had to quiet each other, worried we might wake a sleeping neighbor. “Curtis is a scared cat,” Deuce said. “He’s a scaredy cat.” He laughed again and I did too.
We arrived at the bus stop just in time to hear the squeaking brakes of the bus a block over. Deuce looked at me and said, “Let’s pray mama!”—always part of our routine on the way to school.
I bent down. “Dear Jesus, help Deuce to have an amazing day at school today. Remind him to make wise choices and to ‘be better’ than the bully who hurt his feelings yesterday. Help him have courage to stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. May his actions and his words make You famous today. In Jesus name I pray.”
“Amen!” He puckered his lips and kissed my cheek. The bus arrived and he climbed on.
Through the tinted windows, I strained my eyes to find where he’d sat down. He chose a seat by the window closest to me and waved ferociously. I did the same. I blew him a kiss, he blew me two.
I stood still and sipped my coffee. Warm tears filled my eyes. I watched until the bus left the neighborhood and turned out of sight.
Many thoughts poured into my mind. He won’t always want me to walk him down to corner. He won’t always want to kiss me in public. He won’t always wave to me from the bus. I need to savor these special moments.
Because, I don’t always savor motherhood. Motherhood is hard.[tweetthis]Because, I don’t always savor motherhood. Motherhood is hard.[/tweetthis]
I often wish for the season I’m in to be over so I can move to the next season. Those seasons—when you love your kid but you’re ready for bedtime by 9 a.m. They pull on the dog’s tail, terrorize their brother, and throw fits like a two-year-old. They won’t eat what you make them, they complain about their clothes, and wish they had more of everything.
At the end of most days, I’m just glad we’re there—at the end.
I don’t live in the moment. And to be honest, I live frustrated with my kids. I not only wish away the hard moments, but find I miss the best moments too.
What an unfortunate way to live.
I only get today once. One day, my children will be walking down the aisle to spend the rest of their lives with someone else. I don’t want to have wished away every moment I had with them, while the bridal procession plays.
Today’s walk to the bus stop though was not a “wish away” moment. It was a reminder from God to be grateful. And to savor motherhood. Even when it’s hard.
I want more of these moments. I get so wrapped up with my wants, my schedule, and my priorities. I need help. Like, God-help. Father, help me see my kids the way You do. And snap me back into place when frustration begins to rise within me.
I need to play more worship music so our home is filled with Truth instead of the lies that consume my heart.
And I need to change my mind. To decide ahead of time I’m going to respond well to my kids.[tweetthis]And I need to change my mind. To decide ahead of time I’m going to respond well to my kids.[/tweetthis]
Because tomorrow, today will be gone.
Now, if only I can remember to live out what I’ve typed here when Deuce gets home from school in a few hours.
How about you? Do you wish away the seasons of your kid’s lives too? Any suggestions?
Let a very old mom say “Amen” to everything you’ve written. I believe one of Satan’s slickest tricks on moms is this urgency to cover all the bases (cliche alert) all the time. And the bases we’ve identified aren’t necessarily the ones that please God. It has taken years for me to learn to leave margins along the edges of my day. Margins that eliminate overload and stress. If I were honest, I’m still learning.
The best thing we can do for you younger moms is to pray for you. Pray for our daughters, daughters-in-laws, neighborhood moms, co-worker moms, young mothers of our friends. Because that old saying “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world,” has much merit.
Great blog, Lisa.
Oh Diane, I know all of us moms would LOVE your prayers! It seems generation after generation struggle with the same parenting issues. As you speak with wisdom that comes from experience, thanks for reminding us of the “junk” that gets in the way of parenting: busyness, a lack of margin, and lies from the enemy. I’m grateful for you!
Love this, Lisa! I found myself in a situation the other day with Izz. She was worried about something, it was late, past her bedtime and mine and I reminded her to pray when she’s worried – He’s always there listening. What a perfect opportunity for me to pray with her, yet I was so focused on getting to bed that I missed a wonderful opportunity to pray with her. It didn’t take me long to realize that the real trouble was that I was not living in the moment. Instead I was focused on the ‘after.’ Thank you for the reminder to live in the present, and enjoy the seasons!
Thanks for sharing that Lindsay! I’m glad we can do this mommy-thing together, the highs and the lows. And forgive my late reply to your comment, I was trying to live in the moment this afternoon and not run to a device every free second when my kids got home 🙂
Ah. Yes. This has been consuming my heart lately. I have this desperation for things to slow down and also to be out of this stage… At the same time. I’m so tired. I have a 2nd grader, a preschool and two babies, and the girl drama at our house is incredible. Just tonight, as I was trying to calm my oldest daughter and squelch the 15th sister-quarrel in 10 minutes (at bedtime), I told my girls, “Just GO TO SLEEP. I’m done. It’s late, I’m tired, and I’ve got stuff I need to do!” And I was done. And tired. And I did have stuff I needed to do. And it was 45 minutes PAST their bedtime. But after I left their room and spent the next 20 minutes comforting one of the twins, I’d realized how brushed off they must have felt. Especially in a moment when they were both feeling emotionally fragile from being so tired, too. They were both already asleep, so I just went in and kissed them again. But I really just wanted them to know how much I love them and how special they are and how much Jesus loves them and how He beams when they are loving to each other. My heart is so consumed lately with hoping that they feel enough love from me. That I point them to Jesus enough… Enough. I’m so worried about being enough. Why is it SO hard to live the same truth we want to teach them? Why is it so hard to see the preciousness in these moments until they’re already gone? Thank the Lord for Grace, right? And new mercies each morning… A whole new set of moments to (try to remember) to savor. 🙂 Thanks for sharing, friend. Those moments are the sweetest.
Thank you Sara! You know, I think if Satan can discourage us in any way as moms, so much so that it affects our self-esteem as women and parents, then he will keep at it. I think THIS is why it’s so hard to live in the truth we teach them. I despise the enemy. Grrrrrr!
And yes, thank God for grace that He extends us and we can extend ourselves (and pray our kids do too! I think they do!). I so appreciate you taking the time to read the post and for your candid comment. Makes me not feel alone in mommyhood!!
please excuse all the typos… Clearly it is WAY past my bedtime, too!
Ha! I didn’t even see any typos!
A friend sent me this quote this past week. So much truth. And so encouraging.
“The place of our greatest weakness can unleash the power of God’s greatest grace.”
{http://www.themobsociety.com/2015/01/22/dear-weary-mom/}
Wow. Must be something God is trying to challenge me with, because it keeps popping up everywhere. 🙂
Love that Sara! I love the verse, “…He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Cor 12:9-10
I’m soooo weak when it comes to mothering. Leaning on Jesus makes me strong. I just want to remember that!
Way to be an example to all of us to be teachable when God trying to hammer something into your head. Thanks for leading and thanks for sharing your heart!
Thank you Lisa for this blog entry. I’ve had it open for a few days but have been too busy to read it. Today was one tough day and I saw the open tab, read it, and now I’m in tears. This is SO spot on and I’m so grateful and blessed to have your as a friend in my life to ‘slap me in face’ when I need it and remind me to slow down and savor the good times, the sweet times with my baby girl because like you said, before long she won’t want me around as much as she does now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You’re so welcome Aimee. I’m glad parents can share the hard stuff of parenting with each other and not feel so alone. It was good for me to read your comment, because it reminded me AGAIN to savor the good times and be grateful even in the bad ones. Blessings to you lady! Thanks for reading.