I often compare myself to other people –a celebrity on the cover of a magazine, a super-fit woman at the gym, a seemingly amazing wife in a fiction book, or a confident, chill real-life mom in the booth next to me at Chik-fil-A.
But perhaps the strongest comparison I make is to those who do what I want to do with my career. Women who speak to a national audience, with thousands of Facebook likes, more Twitter followers and an even bigger blogging platform. Women like Lysa Terkeurst, Jen Hatmaker, and Jennie Allen.
I look at their numerous speaking engagements, their offers to go to Israel—fully paid for—to research their next book, their manuscripts lining the bookstore shelves, and I pale in comparison.
I attended the She Speaks Conference a month ago and heard a repeated theme come from the lips of Christine Caine, Whitney Capps, Karen Ehman and several others. And I wondered if God was trying to hammer something through my super thick, self-centered, woe-is-me, skull.
“Lisa, comparison is like cancer—it grows and grows and if left untreated, has the potential to kill you.”
And I realized that I’m allowing the enemy of this world to win in my heart each time I compare myself to the women who’ve “made it”.
Instead of listening to these gals as they teach, I’m discouraged by my lack of knowledge.
Instead of watching their journey and taking notes, I’m preoccupied by my “green-ness”.
Instead of cheering them on, I’m sidetracked by my jealousy.
Now convicted, I’m reminded that the Bible is chock full of people who played the comparison game. And nothing goes well for the jealous.
Leah wished she could be pretty like Rachel.
Hannah wished she could have kids like Penninah.
The Israelites wished they had the wealth of the Canaanites.
David wished he had Urriah’s wife.
The disciples wished they were a different disciple.
Judas wished he had more money.
And Lisa wishes she was someone else.
When I’m distracted by who I am not, I lose focus of who I am.
And who God has created me to be. God doesn’t want me to be another Christine Caine or Beth Moore. If I’m them, then I’m not me. My comparison game is like telling the Creator He has my life wrong and I have my life right.
And Satan wins again.
When I’m preoccupied by my insecurities, I can’t be about the business of making God famous in my life. Because when I get down to it, this is why I’m here—to make God famous. And so Satan will be right there trying to divert my heart and fill my head—with lies.
God isn’t going to count the number of my blog followers, if I publish countless books, or speak to a stadium full of women. But God will hold me accountable for making Him famous while I lived – to my kids, my husband, my neighbors, to the checker at the grocery store, and the employee at the McDonalds drive-thru. While I need to be active in my platform building and work hard to communicate about the fame of God, “numbers” won’t determine success in His eyes.
Whew. Now that’s the Truth.
So I applaud the gals who have already “made it”. I want God to use them and their ginormous platform to make His name great. Life’s not about me. Life’s not about them. Life’s all about Him.
May God make Himself famous through me, through you, and through anyone who’s willing, however He chooses.
Do you play, “the comparison game” like me? If so, how do you struggle? In what other ways could you and I stop this insanity and embrace who God’s created us to be?
Boy do I ever compare myself…
Being in the ministry and not having seminary background to “support” the things I do. IF that even makes sense! But when I play the game it is all about woe is me and my lack of “training.” I compare myself to others in the office that have or are getting degrees now.
Embrace who God created me to be, this needs to be etched all over my house and my office.
Love that Tammy! And yes, it totally makes sense. It’s so easy to feel “less than” when we see others doing what we want and think we should be doing. Love that God’s created you in this season to be a mommy and wife and great Children’s Pastor!
I find myself doing this daily…if not multiple times during the day. I compare myself to the stay-at-home mom who gets to pick her kids up from school and doesn’t have to sit on the waitlist for evening dance classes because she can go any old time of the day she wants. I compare myself to the femaile Execs who give up the ability to stay at home but whose career accomplishments far exceed mine and seemingly justify their decision. I compare myself to my husband, who is sol relaxed and easy going. I compare myself to YOU, who comes across so rooted in her purpose and mission that God has given her, while I allow myself to get bogged down in the schedule and minutia of everyday life. It sometimes helps me to rememeber all the blessings I have and how many may compare aspects of their life to me and feel inadequate. The unemployed, those who can’t bear children, those who can’t afford to have their kids enrolled in activities, regardless of when they are offered. Remembering that what i may perceive as a burden would be a blessing to many. And that in the end, only one opinion matters…and it’s not mine 🙂
Just got chills reading your comment Amee. So true! – Btw, I’m comparing my posts to your eloquent writing right now and feel inadequate :). Ha!! Just kidding 🙂 But seriously, like you, I’m not always content with where I’m at and who I am. This is such a distraction from the enemy. And you’re right, we need to be grateful for what we’ve been given, otherwise we will miss out on so much that God has for us personally and for us to do in this world! Preach on sista!
…and those who can type and spell without errors. I totally compare myself to them!
yeah, me to. I mean “too” 🙂
Beautiful. Can’t help but think of David and Goliath. So easy to look at other giants and think that we just can’t compare to their ‘strength’. But then God is in the ‘foolish confounding the wise’ business.
Thankful for this challenge to be the best me I can be for the best God there is and not worry so much about how I line up against the talents and abilities of others.
Awesome Patty. And I love the David and Goliath analogy. So so true.
I find myself in this loop far too often. Lisa, I know your husband Markus-we went to TCU together. While I was lucky enough to be able to make a living off of theatre full time, that ended about 4 years ago and I am constantly finding myself feeling like someone else must have my career. Why did my well dry up but others are getting the jobs I want? Well maybe God has a different plan for me and I need to stay open to that. SO hard sometimes though. Thanks for this lovely reminder to “let it go”. 🙂
You’re welcome Lara. And yes it’s so hard to remember truth. I gravitate to insecurity and forget that God’s my security. Good reminder. I’m glad you knew Markus in college – lucky you! 🙂 I’ll tell him you said “hi!”
Wow this blog had my heart beating as if you could see right through me and read all my thoughts. 🙂 Thanks for linking up. I enjoyed your post tremendously. God is going to use you to make Him famous, I see How awesome HE is through your writing.
Jodie, thank you so much for your encouraging words. I love that we had the chance to “meet” through the link up. I really hope to meet you in person at the next “She Speaks” possibly?? 🙂 Blessings to you as you communicate about Him!
Lisa – I just came to your blog after reading your guest post on Courtney DeFeo: Lil Light O’ Mine Blog this morning. Your post is speaking to me like a voice directly from God himself. I had just read on FB the update of someone I admire so much achieving all and more than she ever intended career wise – it’s amazing. I say this as I am cleaning up play-dough and breakfast dishes. I’ve put my career on hold to a be a mama to three girls a blessing I know is God’s intention for me but in this moment it’s hard not to be in the comparison game. What a necessary reminder that comparison is the thief of joy and keeps us from being the person God created us to be. Thanks so much for being here this morning, just what I needed.
Katie, thanks so much for your comment. Wow. It’s so God-cool for Him to use my insecurities to speak to you. What a great God. I love that through our struggles and Truth derived from them, we can encourage each other to be better: better moms, better friends, better Believers. Your daughters are blessed!
Great post, Lisa. I too, came home from She Speaks comparing myself to everyone around me. It’s such a tricky trap to navigate. Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts about it. Shedding light on the topic only helps loosen its grip on us.
so so great lisa. i sure do the same thing. believe it or not. thought i was going to vomit on that stage at she speaks – thinking those that had “made it” up there before ware much more polished, etc. then christine caine knocked the breath out of me with her talk. and i remembered what it was all about. but yes, i too compare. you’re doing so great.
Thank you Courtney! And thanks for being such a great partner to all of us communicators! Hope to link up with you again soon! 🙂
Lisa, thanks so much for sharing your article on “The Comparison Game.” Really good writing! I hope you are doing well. Would love to hear from you and just catch up.
Roy, We miss you! I send every friend or stranger who needs a therapist your way! I’ve even quoted you in my blog, “7 Beliefs We’re Passing On To Our Kids”. I’m sure we’ll see you soon! 🙂
Lisa, I loved meeting you on Friday and hearing you speak at our MOPS/MomsNext group about Parenting with the End in Mind. After you left, a friend and I were talking and she was comparing me to you!!!! What a compliment for me! She loved your passion, humor and message and then said that I possess those similar traits. Of course I disagree! I do agree that you are a gifted young wife, mother, speaker and sister in Christ. I look forward to seeing you realize God’s plan for your life. Much gratitude, Carla