The Comparison Game

I often compare myself to other people –a celebrity on the cover of a magazine, a super-fit woman at the gym, a seemingly amazing wife in a fiction book, or a confident, chill real-life mom in the booth next to me at Chik-fil-A.

But perhaps the strongest comparison I make is to those who do what I want to do with my career. Women who speak to a national audience, with thousands of Facebook likes, more Twitter followers and an even bigger blogging platform. Women like Lysa Terkeurst, Jen Hatmaker, and Jennie Allen.

I look at their numerous speaking engagements, their offers to go to Israel—fully paid for—to research their next book, their manuscripts lining the bookstore shelves, and I pale in comparison.

I attended the She Speaks Conference a month ago and heard a repeated theme come from the lips of Christine Caine, Whitney Capps, Karen Ehman and several others. And I wondered if God was trying to hammer something through my super thick, self-centered, woe-is-me, skull.

“Lisa, comparison is like cancer—it grows and grows and if left untreated, has the potential to kill you.”

And I realized that I’m allowing the enemy of this world to win in my

By |August 25th, 2014|
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From Yours Truly, Slacker Parent of the Summer

Dearest soon-to-be-teacher of my oldest son:

I wanted to take a minute to apologize in advance for the mutiny that is about to invade your 1st grade classroom.  I’ve been quite the slacker as a parent this summer so when my kid walks into your class one fry short of a Mighty Kids Happy meal, you’ll know his behavior is all my fault.

We’ve gotten out of our school-year routine.

Last year I appreciated the month-long program, “Healthy Eating for Life” and the incentives you gave him to eat well. But over the last three months, our meals have consisted of dinosaur chicken nuggets, pizza, and Happy Meals. Are you going to provide that program again this year?

Following the school’s advice to keep gaming to only 30 minutes a day, I enforced strict rules about time in front of the Playstation 3. But not lately. Maybe once—or maybe all summer—I’ve allowed him to play most of the day. Sorry. At least his hand eye-coordination has improved.

Bedtime has always been at 6:30. But late night plans and my, “It’s summer. Let the kid stay up a little later!” attitude, has kept him from getting needed rest. While I’ll do my best

By |August 15th, 2014|
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Guest Post – Who’s The Boss

Check out the latest post from world changer, abuse fighter, soon-to-be-published author, and my friend Marquita DeJesus. Be sure to purchase her book, “Radically Ordinary“, which will be released September 2, 2014.

The sun beats down mercilessly on the parched North Texas earth below. I inhale the salty, thick air and silently thank God for the invention of mango slushies. I grip the spoon and taking in one final gulp, I swish the icy goodness around my mouth and embrace the fleeting moment of relief.
The condensation from the plastic cup seeps beads coolness into my warm skin. I exhale. Rising from the park bench and heading to the nearest recycling bin, I toss my empty cup while ducking under nearby, shabby suburban trees struggling to provide sparse shade.
Suddenly, my attention is turned towards my daughter Emmy whose whimsical playtime has been brought to an abrupt and immediate stop. She is wagging her finger into the face of another kid who it would seem has pushed her out of the way in order to be first in line to slide.
Emmy will
By |August 6th, 2014|
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“Don’t You Ever Grow Up”

Last week I attended my oldest son’s kindergarten graduation ceremony. The educators had the nerve show a “Year in Review” video slideshow of the kids while playing “Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift. Did I cry? Uh, yeah.  In case you’re not familiar with the song, here’s the chorus:

Oh darling don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
I won’t let nobody hurt you
Won’t let no one break your heart
No one will desert you
Just try to never grow up
Never grow up

I left the ceremony, in just about as bad an emotional state as I did dropping him off for his first day of Kindergarten. I went home and started to post to Facebook about how sad I was that my oldest kiddo was now a Kindergarten graduate and was growing up right before my eyes. But as quick as the sadness came, I remembered a fact I’ve known since he was a newborn in my arms.

See, even though Taylor Swift and I may wish for Deuce to never grow up, God’s purpose for Deuce is just the opposite.

By |June 11th, 2014|
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7 Beliefs We’re Passing On To Our Kids

My therapist told me in a counseling session, we “parent what we believe”. In other words, what we value is exactly what we will pass on to our children. So I asked myself, “How am I parenting what I believe?”

And I realized there were some not-so-great things I believe and I’ve passed these on to my children. Like thinking my way is the only way to do something. It is of course, but maybe not the best thing to teach my kids.

But I also realized I’m passing great beliefs on to my kids. I know I’m not the best parent. I know I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn. But because my husband, Markus and I parent what I believe, we see our kids love God and love others better.

Here are 7 beliefs we’re passing on to our kids.

  1. The Bible is the best book on the planet: It’s our answer source. The Bible gives us clarity when our world is spinning in confusion. We encourage our boys, even at 7 and 5, to read their Bibles in the morning before coming downstairs.
  2. Pray about everything: I try to pray out loud whenever a concern or praise enters my
By |May 4th, 2014|
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Look Away From the Naked Woman!

I knew one day our six-year-old son would notice the female body. Today was that day.

During a visit to the mall, we came upon a lingerie store with a larger-than-life poster of a bra model with even larger boobies (and a teenie weeny bra).

I tried to distract him by pointing out the toy store right around the corner. But he ran over to the poster and stood underneath the tee-tahs. His eyes had a look on them that told me “heaven” was right here.

I saw this as a huge, triple-D HUGE, teachable moment. I walked over, passing chuckling adults, and stood by my son. “She’s beautiful isn’t she buddy?”

“Yeah, Mom. Ohhh yeah.” He eyes stayed glued on the boobs.

(Good grief!) I knelt next to him.

“Did you know God intended for this lady to only show her breasts to her husband? But instead she’s showing herself to the whole mall.”

His face fell.

“Women model like this for different reasons, but sometimes because they don’t have much self-esteem or self-respect.”

“That’s really sad,” he replied.

“But guess what? As a man, you have the opportunity to show her the esteem and respect that she deserves. So the next time you see this

By |April 16th, 2014|
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Fashion and a Cheap Deal…Worth The Cost?

gap-childlabourI hate spending money. I LOVE getting a good deal.

So I shop at stores that sell really cheap clothes, like Forever 21, Old Navy, Ross, Charlotte Russe, Marshall’s and Dillard’s. And those are just a few of my favorite places to find amazing deals on the most current fashions. Just today while perusing the “sale” page of Forever 21’s website, I found a pair of stylish print leggings for $5! Not to mention the cute sleeveless, collared top to go with it for just $10! And as my boy’s school year started, I only spent $50 online at Old Navy and bought 4 pairs of shorts and 7 shirts! Plus FREE shipping! Holy crap, what a deal!!

I’ll search all over the internet for a good deal, passing up “decent” deal after deal looking for that special one. In fact, as I’m typing this, I’m sorta realizing  how obsessed I am with it.

Have you ever really thought about how it is that these clothes are so darn cheap? I have, but only a few times. Mostly I just see the deal and take it! I mean, I’ve wondered, “Could these

By |October 25th, 2013|
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Mommy Guilt. Gotta Hate It.

I don’t know about you, but I could be having the best “mom” day, and then I do one thing that makes me feel like a “less than” mom, and my positive esteem about my mothering skills for the day is ruined.  “Bad mama”, right here? Yeah. Like the other day, our 3 year old, Solomon realized that it was a little after 8am and that our oldest, “Deuce” was now off at school. So the little tike came downstairs with his ambulance in hand and pitifully said, “Mama, Deuce is not hear-uh…will you puh-leeeeeease play amboolance wit me?” To which I, now strewn with guilt, pitifully replied back , “Awww buddy, I’ve got to get ready for work. But you can come play on the floor in the bathroom while I put my makeup on.” With tears in his eyes he replied, “Nooooo Mommy, it’s not da saaaaaammmmmme.” Guilt? Yes.  Boo. Hiss.

And don’t you just feel guilty when you wanna feed your kids healthy foods, but the price tag on that stuff is rid-donku-lous?! I’ve been reading about all the pesticides

By |September 29th, 2013|
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Today I Dropped You Off For Your Last Day of Preschool…

Here’s a letter I wrote to my oldest kiddo, “Deuce” today on his last day of preschool:

“Deuce”,

I just dropped you off for your last day of pre-school. I couldn’t help but cry as I watched you walk into your room for the last time. We took pictures together and then your dad and I took your little brother to his class. But afterwards, I came back and watched you play with your friends. Your teachers had provided balloons as an end of year treat, and you and your buddies swung them at each other as if they were bats. But then you saw me, stood still, and waved and smiled.  Your eyes looked at me as if to say, “I love you”, and then you went back to playing. I walked away and let the emotion and tears stream down my face as I sat in the pool of memories of your years leading up to this moment.

I’ll never forget when you were born and what joy your birth brought to your Daddy and me. Daddy yelled, “It’s a boy!” and Markus Timothy, Lloyd Jr. was about to turn our world upside down. We knew our family

By |May 24th, 2013|
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How to Talk to Your Kids About Kidnapping

This is a wonderful and empowering “MSN Living” article in response to the kidnappings of the 3 young women in Cleveland, Ohio.

“How to talk to your kids about kidnapping”

The Cleveland kidnapping leaves many parents wondering how to talk to their kids about predators.

By Charyn Pfeuffer – MSN Living Editor 

Each year, an estimated 800,000 children under the age of 18 are reported missing in the United States. That means roughly 2,191 times per day, parents or primary caregivers felt the disappearance was serious enough to contact law enforcement. That’s a lot of panicked phone calls.

Instead of thinking a kidnapping could never happen to your family, start a conversation with your children about how to stay safe if they are faced with a predator.

“Not Cleveland specific, but most valuable for me as a parent is to teach my kids…to cultivate the wisdom and courage to be sensitive to trust their gut instincts and act on them even if it may sometimes make you feel mean or stupid,” says Terry Wood-Abeyta, mom of two, in California. “Your gut is usually right.”

Here are some talking points to help you get started:

Teach

By |May 15th, 2013|
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