Dearest soon-to-be-teacher of my oldest son:

I wanted to take a minute to apologize in advance for the mutiny that is about to invade your 1st grade classroom.  I’ve been quite the slacker as a parent this summer so when my kid walks into your class one fry short of a Mighty Kids Happy meal, you’ll know his behavior is all my fault.

We’ve gotten out of our school-year routine.

Last year I appreciated the month-long program, “Healthy Eating for Life” and the incentives you gave him to eat well. But over the last three months, our meals have consisted of dinosaur chicken nuggets, pizza, and Happy Meals. Are you going to provide that program again this year?

Following the school’s advice to keep gaming to only 30 minutes a day, I enforced strict rules about time in front of the Playstation 3. But not lately. Maybe once—or maybe all summer—I’ve allowed him to play most of the day. Sorry. At least his hand eye-coordination has improved.

Bedtime has always been at 6:30. But late night plans and my, “It’s summer. Let the kid stay up a little later!” attitude, has kept him from getting needed rest. While I’ll do my best to get back in the bedtime-swing-of-things come fall, it may take a few weeks to get him into an earlier routine. But for now, he’s exhausted by 1 pm and goes stir-crazy. This may prove difficult for you during independent reading time.

I wish I would’ve insisted that he read books all summer. And the activity packet the Kindergarten teachers sent home in May? Still in the backpack. Yes, he may need to go back to Kindergarten after you assess him. But tell that to the Kinder teachers and I’m afraid they will insist he stay in first grade.

Oh and one more thing. During the month of  June we spent some time in the mountains. Unfortunately, the lack of oxygen at such a high altitude has done something to his brain. He acts insane most days, chasing his brother around the house, and pounding him on the head. Repeatedly. I apologize if he randomly gets up from his desk and does the same to his classmates.

Wow, I feel much better. There’s something cathartic about getting the guilt off my chest. I’m just so sorry you have to bear the blow of my poor parenting in a couple weeks. I’ll try to get better as we approach the fall, but the end of April may arrive before he recovers from the bad choices I’ve made this summer.

Yours Truly,

Slacker Parent of the Summer (aka: Lisa Lloyd)

P.S.—We have a trip scheduled to go back to the mountains and will return two days before school begins. During the trip, the little oxygen he has left in his brain may deplete to zero. If you see him talking to an imaginary Skylanders character, you’ll know why.  As a good communicative parent I wanted to let you know.

 

Have you felt like a slacker parent too this summer? Since we’re all in this tough-parenting-thing together, leave a comment below and tell me more!