My therapist told me in a counseling session, we “parent what we believe”. In other words, what we value is exactly what we will pass on to our children. So I asked myself, “How am I parenting what I believe?”
And I realized there were some not-so-great things I believe and I’ve passed these on to my children. Like thinking my way is the only way to do something. It is of course, but maybe not the best thing to teach my kids.
But I also realized I’m passing great beliefs on to my kids. I know I’m not the best parent. I know I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn. But because my husband, Markus and I parent what I believe, we see our kids love God and love others better.
Here are 7 beliefs we’re passing on to our kids.
- The Bible is the best book on the planet: It’s our answer source. The Bible gives us clarity when our world is spinning in confusion. We encourage our boys, even at 7 and 5, to read their Bibles in the morning before coming downstairs.
- Pray about everything: I try to pray out loud whenever a concern or praise enters my mind. This teaches them we can rely on God for everything and He listens. Our oldest kiddo, “Deuce”, misplaced his hot wheels car a while back and I had no idea. He found the car under the couch and jumping up and down cheered, “Mommy! God answered my prayer!” God wants us to trust Him in the little things so that when the big trials show up, we’ve already seen Him come through.
- Pray for others: This puts their focus on someone other than themselves. This is hard to do at any age, isn’t it? I ask my kids to pray for me. This shows them I believe God will listen to their prayers for me. I was nervous for a recent speaking engagement and asked our youngest son, Solomon, to pray for me. When I returned from the talk, Solomon said, “I asked God to help you not be scared and for you to remember God is with you. Just like I remember when I’m scared of the dark.” Awesome.
- Don’t lie: We don’t lie to our kids to make them feel better or make a situation easier. They aren’t allowed to lie either. If they are in the wrong but tell us the truth, they don’t get into trouble. They tell the truth almost all the time now. Markus and I tell them, “Lloyd’s don’t lie”. This has made Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth fairy difficult. So we don’t. Tough? Yep. But we believe it’s worth it.
- Confess quickly and ask for forgiveness: I ask for my kid’s forgiveness when I screw up. This teaches them I am not perfect and shows them how to admit when they are wrong. “I did ‘X’, I was wrong, please forgive me”. Confession and repentance are a healing balm for any relationship.
- There’s nothing you can do to escape Mom and Dad’s love for you. Or the love of Jesus. We tell them this on a regular basis, especially after they are punished. We take them in our arms, and tell them we don’t approve of let’s say, talking back, but there’s nothing they will ever do to make us not love them. Just like Jesus, our love knows no conditions.
- God has big plans for you. Point everything you do back to Him. No matter what God has you doing or where He has you doing it: karate, t-ball, hanging out at home, or working at school, He put you on this planet to make His name great. To make Him famous. Whatever you do and say should be for His glory. Life isn’t about you or your comfort. Life is ALL about Him.
We believe this stuff. We want our kids to believe it too. And if instilled early, this way of living can become a rhythm of life for them. With hearts focused on God and on others, our kids have the potential to make God famous and change their world. And as our kids parent what they believe, our grand-kids can be world changers too.
May the Lloyd’s make God famous.
How do you parent what you believe? Leave a comment below. I’d love more ideas!
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